We can often find ourselves in situations where a conflict or confrontation is about to take place.  Many times we are surprised by the context, location or even person with whom the confrontation is taking place.  What to do?  Be prepared. 

To prepare for a confrontation (you may not know the reason or subject but you can always have a mental plan in case this happens), think through the following:

• What do I really want out of this?
• What is supposed to happen?
• What am I supposed to learn from this?
• Am I focused on my values?
• What are the ground rules?
• What will be the best resolution?
• What would a surprise outcome look like?

Working through those questions in your mind as you go through the situation may help derail some of the emotion and get you to resolution quicker.  Now, you are wondering how to have time to do this in a conflict situation.  Well, start with breathing and asking for a minute to gather your thoughts.  Run through your expectations in your mind by answering the questions above.  To have prepared for this means practice and even memorization.  Yes, a little bit of work that could pay off in the future.  Ask some of the questions of the person you are in conflict with.  By asking the ground rules, younger looking for clarity around the situation and more detail upon which to develop a resolution. Asking about the best resolution would show that you have an open mind toward results and are prepared to find the best solution possible. 

Remember that in a conflict, to get to resolution, start with the purpose, and make sure it is mutual so that you are both working towards the same results.  This will help you both get through to the end of the situation.